Monday, January 9, 2012

2012, With No Apologies to 2011

We're well past January 1st, and I thought by now I'd have something meaningful and inspirational to say.  The blogosphere has been ripe with posts of self-reflection, transcendence, gratitude, resolutions and three words to guide us for 2012.

As for me readers, I've got nothing.  Except if you count the phrase "I'm still here" after my own annus horribulus in 2011, as my important three words.  Yes, that will do.

I also kicked off the new year with an invitation to my 25th high school reunion in November, of which my first thought was not "Do these jeans make me look fat?", but rather "Will I make it?", and by that I don't mean with some long-lost high school paramour.

That's the thing about metastatic cancer.  I'm feeling pretty good right now, even in my one-handed chemo-fogged state, but with the disease at this stage, you never know what fun is just around the corner.  The game can literally change overnight.  And I don't say that from a hopeless kind of perspective. In fact I'm far from feeling like that, it's just simply fact.  You never know.  [Editors Note:  Please don't come at me with the "hit-by-a-bus" analogy unless you want a serious tongue lashing].

Anyway I think I'll RSVP to the reunion with a "Yes! So long as I'm not dead or otherwise indisposed with collapsed lungs, chemo sickness or some other cancer-related crap".

So what I do I want for 2012?

Above all, medical stability.  Medical instability of the cancerous kind is highly inconvenient, especially with all the travel I dream of catching up on this year.  It's also not a good look for a high school reunion.

Secondly, I'd like to resurrect my Can-Do Women blog.  I was off to a really good start in the first half of 2011, then medical instability for the second half sent that priority to the bottom of the pile.  Incidentally, I'd welcome contributors to that blog if anyone feels so inclined.  Check it out.

Third, I resolved before Christmas to give my local in-person support group another chance.  I went to one session in December and of course I hated it.  One too many narcissists who love the sound of their own voices for my liking.  Huh? Bloggers, narcissists?  Noooooooooo.  Anyway, I've decided to give it a couple more attendances, and if nothing else I'll view it as an unacademic social experiment which should provide ample blogging fodder for the foreseeable future.  Unless Lucy Loudmouth decides to shut her mouth and let someone else talk, or I grow some balls and tell her to shut the hell up.

I also might try working on this "gratitude" thing that everybody seems to be buzzing about, even though the words gratitude and cancer don't go together in my mind.  Unfortunately, I tend to misbehave with exercises like this.

I'm GRATEFUL that I have at least one working hand.

I'm GRATEFUL that metastatic cancer is such a pile of crap that at least I have something to blog about.

I'm GRATEFUL that my dog only rolls in skunk excretions once a week.

I'm GRATEFUL that I have so little wherewithal to do much of anything around the house that it gets me out of all the chores I hate (with apologies to Beloved).

I'm GRATEFUL that so many breast cancer organizations are a waste of space, and that I still possess the energy to bitchblog about them.

I'm GRATEFUL that I still have blog readers despite my penchant for sacrilegious snark.

And with that dear readers, I'll leave you with these wise words and wish you all a Happy, Peaceful and Medically Stable 2012.



"Never go to a Doctor whose office plants have died" (Anonymous)




Th 80's have a LOT to answer for!

39 comments:

  1. HAHAHA! I am so in love with that picture.

    Katie

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  2. And I just read the whole post after the asymmetrical distraction. I just love your honesty. Definitely, balls to the gratitude if you're not feeling it.

    And I want you to know that I am still a little angry.

    Katie

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  3. I've been waiting for your first post of 2012! Love the high school photo!! I sure hope you have some medical stability this year. You deserve it, although cancer doesn't give a crap about that does it? Glad to hear your other blog will be up and running again. I learn stuff there! Also glad to hear you will give your support group another chance or two. Like you said, it might be a good source for material to write (gripe) about. Who knows? And the reunion thing, that will be interesting too. I've not been back for one of mine...Much gratitude here for "knowing" you and for your great blog. Happy New Year to you too!

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    1. Yes lots of fodder for upcoming posts.....I'm grateful for knowing you too N!

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  4. I LOVE THE PICTURE, too!!!

    And these words of your to us are like music:

    I"M STILL HERE.

    Sing it, sister. We love you,
    jms

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  5. I'm GRATEFUL you're still here too.

    And love the new seventies wallpaper.

    Here's to a year of snark and steadiness!

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    1. Yes the wallpaper seems like it has a texture you could touch. Feels cozier :)

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  6. I'm so happy that you are still here and that you are snarky. I also like the word bitchblog.

    I hope that you have medical stability this year. I hope that your 2012 is better than your 2011 was. I hope that stupid woman in the support group shuts the hell up. There's at least one in every support group.

    I love your snark. And the picture. Have fun at your reunion!

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  7. Hilarious..and not just the picture!

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  8. "Never try the asymmetric hair style if you have a natural kink in your hair."

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  9. Could you show Lucy Loudmouth your photo? THAT would shut her piehole, but good.

    Also, consider flipping her off with your good hand. ("Ooops! Sorry. Must have been a muscle spasm.")

    Rock on
    KOB

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  10. BITCHBLOGGERS FOREVER!!!

    I adore that photo, for entirely perverse reasons, of course, because it's nice to know I wasn't the only nitwit on the planet back then who had an asymmetrical hairdo and thought I looked really cool. Now, my hair is symmetrical, but my body sure isn't, although I try to regard that as another sort of fashion statement.

    At least we never had mullets, Rach...that's something to be grateful for. ;)

    xoxo
    Kathi

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  11. Oh, by the way, that quote was first uttered by Erma Bombeck, who also had breast cancer. She'd have been a bitchblogger for sure.

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  12. I'm still here!
    Bitchblogger
    Tongue lashing for the hit by a bus thing? I have a friend with brass knuckles, will borrow and will travel. Gladly.
    Gratitude? Nahhhhhh.... That's like calling cancer a gift. I'll pass on that.

    Hey, I think I blogged about that.... wow, serendipitous....I did and I found it and YOU were on the top of the list but making the list is what elicited the GFY response to a girlfriend.....This one was for YOU:

    http://chemo-brain.blogspot.com/2011/11/giving-thanks-on-thanksgiving-eve.html

    Love you Rach... LOVE the picture!
    xoxox

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  13. Happy New Year, Rachel. I love your three words and I'm most definitely grateful our cyber paths have crossed. Here's to medical stability!

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  14. LOVED this post!! You speak for many beyond yourself..,thank you. I had 3 inspiring words all picked out for the year and then they went out the window when it was confirmed I have early stage lymphedema developing in my right arm. ...oncologist said the radiation effects typically present a year later..."WTF" are currently my new 3 words. The fun just never ends.

    mary

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  15. Love this new year post! Your honesty is worth reading all the time. Love the pic, love the words of wisdom and I look forward to reading a good snarky post about your high school reunion.
    Deb

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  16. God you make me laugh Rachel! Love the photo Jan x

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  17. I detect a little Martika in the pic;-) Love your blog, you write so well and eloquently. Keep going, a voice of sanity in a sea of pink...

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  18. Jersey Girl....you are the last person who needs to grow balls!! My money would always be on you against the world's biggest. YOU give ME strength. Here's to a New Year of medical stability! With much love, nancy

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  19. Love it all. I hear you in so many ways and love reading your blog...
    Amanda

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  20. Just so you know, I'm sooooo stealing "bitchblog" - hee-hee...

    Ironically, I got the nod about planning my 30th reunion today (although it is still three years away) and the first thing I thought about was that daggone yearbook photo (think big, feathered BLACK GIRL HAIR. I know...) that some fool will try to slap on my lapel just so people know who I am. You're right - the 80s do have a lot of 'splainin' to do.

    Thanks for snarking it up, darlin'...

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    1. I think HS reunions are specifically designed to torment us and make us feel like overly hormonal teenagers all over again.....but not in a good way!! Nice to "see" see you Felicia :)

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  21. hey rach, keeping it real as always honey, i remember that haircut and your beautiful face all those years ago now - i wish for you medical stability too and soooo much more. xx delice

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  22. er...dont even think about going on a 25 hour flight to Perth to your HSR without a short 8 hour run to Germany fool.

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  23. Rach....
    Thanks for leaving that note on my GFY with the gratitude thing on my blog. I knew you were in FL and I most certainly did NOT expect that you would read the entry...... I was just so teary when I read that you would be getting out of dodge for the holiday..... that you found a way to make that trip happen..... I KNEW IF I made a list, your excursion was going at the top of the list after reading about everything you went through in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. Love to you my tri state neighbor..... xoxox

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    1. Yes it was awesome to get away. Planning my next disappearing act..........

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  24. Keep those blogs coming. We love your voice & thanks for the photo. Not crazy about the hair, but that face... Now that's a pretty girl!

    XOXOXO,
    Brenda

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  25. Apology...so not enough for that half-mullet look. I am grateful that I laughed hysterically for hours!!! I am grateful that you expanded my vocab today: "bitchblog." I am also grateful that there is someone out in the blogosphere that makes me seem sweet and even-tempered. xxoo TC (boo-bee trap)

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    1. I think I'm onto something with the word "bitchblog" - seems to have struck a chord. I'm letting you all have it for free rather than trademarking and suing! I'm grateful that we can be NOT sweet and even-tempered together TC!

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  26. Aw, LOVE your humor Rachel. "Was wondering [as I was thinking about going to my high school reunion], Will I make it? And by that I don't mean with some long-lost high school paramour."

    Too damn funny! Keep your beautiful spirit. BTW, I moseyed over to your site after visiting Marie's and seeing you mentioned in the weekly roundup. This was a great recommendation. Take care. Will you look for me on Marie's site and maybe visit mine too?

    From another Rachel

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    1. From one Rachel to another, welcome! I'll be stopping by your blog for sure!

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  27. I LOVE this. So glad I found you through JBBC. I've read your blog before, but it's been awhile and I look forward to following you more closely.
    Snarky is the new black, right?
    Medically stable - my favourite two words. Words that we can so easily take for granted. Thanks for the reminder.
    Chat soon,
    Terri

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  28. Welcome back Terri. Nice to "see you". Here's to medical stability!

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  29. Just found your blog. I really appreciate the clear presentation of the facts (about Komen for instance, I've had my suspicions about those pink-ribbon money launderers for some time). And I like your sense of humor!

    I also am living with MBC at a relatively young age, and I also write a blog chronicling my experience. It is called Buddha and the Big C at blogpot.com AS you might tell from the title, I deal a lot with the nitty-gritty spiritual aspects of waking up each day with MBC. You are welcome to come over and check it out if you are so inclined. And I will be back.

    Thanks and best of medical stability to you.

    althea

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