Sunday, December 18, 2011

Favorite Things

Last year, in a fit of seasonally inspired writing, I put the breast back in Christmas, and counted down my favorite Breastmas gifts.

This year we're doing things a bit differently, and I'm taking a page out of Oprah's book and counting down my Favorite Things.

1. Love Stoop

This is a dish my MIL invented to keep Beloved and I in easily-prepared nourishing meals whilst my appetite is MIA, and fatigue and gimp hand keep me out of the kitchen. Essentially empty the contents of your vegetable drawers and canned goods into a pot, add a couple of Brontosauraus-like meat bones,  and some good stock, boil and simmer, pour into containers and freeze.

Uh-oh I only have 4 containers left.
Better get MIL on the case
2. Udderly Smooth Udder Cream

Legend has it, this is the same cream used to keep cows udders healthy.  Mmmm not too sure where to go with this, suffice to say this has been the best moisturizing cream for hands and feet in my entire cancer career.  Buy it by the tub at your local pharmacy.

How nice and smooth does gimp hand look?

3. Spirometer

I literally suck on this thing at least five times a day.  It keeps my lungs exercised and inflated (as opposed to collapsed), avoiding the need for an Operating Room date with Dr Cuteness.  I love this thing.

Suck harder!
4. Snoods

Certain bloggers have been keeping me in artisanal snoods (and gloves!).  They keep my head warm, look cool, and allow me to moonlight as an "Occupy" protester.

Striking a strangely Freudian pose
5. Elasticated Waists

I have a gimp hand.  I challenge you to try and pull up a pair of jeans, pull zipper and fasten button with one hand.  Remember with bathroom breaks you'll have to do this several times throughout the day.  Enough said.  Elasticated waists are the bomb!

Perhaps not my best look!
6. Panini Press

The best thing since sliced bread for the one-handed cook.  Not only panini's but also chicken cutlets and little steaks.   Love, love, love and everybody gets panini presses!  No, sorry that was a joke.

Between this and Love Stoop we are well fed!
7. Miralax

I've said it before and I'll say it again for those of us dealing with Mr Constipation.  Miralax, in the convenient economy size, has literally saved my ass.  Do yourself a favor and add this item to your walk-in medicine closet.

You know it makes sense.
8. Dog Naps

Always at my feet under the desk.  Snoring a little, farting a bit, dream kicking his little legs........

My trusty sidekick doing his bit for the war on breast cancer
9.  Breast Cancer Social Media

Tune to Twitter every Monday, at search term #BCSM, for breast cancer topic-oriented chat with an amazing group of people. And all the other wonderful Bloggers and Commenters who make up this incredible virtual community.  I can't do this without you.


10. Beloved

What more do I need to say?

I Heart Beloved


Merry Christmas
And
Happy Holidays
To You All
xxxxxxxxxxx




17 comments:

  1. I am laughing out loud at this!!!!! I cannot match your wit dear Rach. You are the bomb for sure. Your ability to laugh at all this shit fills my heart with joy - just what we need at Christmas. Thank you for the laughs and here's to lots more in 2012, plus bumper packs of stool softener.
    Sarah

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  2. I really love this post & all of your photos! Thanks for sharing & best wishes for Christmas & the New Year. xx

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  3. 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, and 10 all feature on my list too. 10 being my OH (other half). What would we do without them?
    Happy Christmas Rachel

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  4. Bahahahahah! Oh, gawd, even if you hadn't typed any words, the pix alone are priceless!! You know what's really scary?? A bunch of these items, or their near-equivalents, are part of my routine advice list to my home care physical therapy patients. (I'll let you guess which ones. Up here, we have Bag Balm instead of Udder Budder.)

    Snoods Rule! And you are on my favorites list for sure, Rach my dear. xoxo

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  5. Outrageous product placement advertising! You're clearly a top model really (as the pictures prove), and all this 'gimp hand' and 'cancer' stuff just a front to suck in the unwary and gullible.

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  6. Hilarious!!! I think this year's list is even better than your last year's list. My favorite is, of course, #8. Your sense of humor is amazing. YOU are amazing. Thanks for giving me a hearty laugh. And happy holidays to you, your Beloved and your trusty side-kick too!!!

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  7. Yay for the ability to get in & out of pants! All the best for the holidays & new year!

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  8. This is hysterical!! You do have a great sense of style and it makes me laugh EVERY since time. Modeling and displaying "how to's" = well thank you very much, indeed...

    Rock on.. ROCK on....

    xoxo

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  9. OMG, this made me laugh!!! You have a wonderful, diabolical, snarky, expressive face to go along with all of this.

    Thank you so much! And Happy New Year....
    Elaine

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  10. You have an amazing gift - the ability to find humor during the difficult (or impossible) times in life, and to share it with others - wishing you the very best for the New Year

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  11. Loved the pix and your witty sense of humor, Rachel. Cancer is really shitty. I am so glad our paths crossed in the blogosphere. The cow udder cream was hysterical.

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  12. ... love to see you and makes cry me see you and to read you ... and by the way thank you so for your wonderful photograph on bcaction.org ...

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  13. Rachel - HAPPY HAPPY HOLIDAY. You are beautiful...inside and out. Must be the Miralax.

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  14. Thank you so much for sharing this. I enjoyed reading this post!

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  15. Nice pictures! These are great memories to cherish.
    Nice sharing and keep posting.

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